Set Intentions in the beginning

I don’t talk much, but now I choose to speak through short blogs, poems, photos or art. I don’t like to hold meaningless conversation, I’d rather be improving myself and those around me. Due to the conversations about last nights game, and the Housewives that are no longer wives on the T.V. I’d rather read and work towards my goals. I try to speak valuable information, for the good of all.

2017, has been a year of ups and very low downs. Over the span of about 340 days, I’ve come to the realization that things were getting done in my life out of obligation. I was obligated to go to work, obligated to graduate, obligated to live a life without consent because things had to be done in order to survive. In that year, I began making a lot of changes for myself to be liberated. I wanted to claim authenticity, and live it. I stopped doing things out of tradition and I began educating myself on the hearsay and rumors sliding down my social media timeline. I took a break from social media and began focusing on myself I learned to do things with intent. I decided I wouldn’t waste anymore time in a meaningless matrix and I would do everything with a purpose or an intended result for my actions. The purpose of this blog is to monitor my own growth, review my personal goals, strengths and places of improvement, but if I help people along the way, that’s cool too.




…and today I’m just thankful.

Thankful for life, life itself.

I am thankful for the ability to choose.

I am thankful for my desire to learn and discover

my arts and talents, my lessons and mental battles.

I am thankful for the growth, changes and love

that continuously combine to increase my strength daily.

For that, I am Grateful.

5 reasons to throw Valentines Day AWAY

This year for some reason February 14 was extremely annoying.  While couples wait patiently for a “surprise” that they are expecting to be placed in a familiar place by their boo. I simply tried to move through my day without gagging. Valentines Day is the sickest, and most fake holiday of them all.

I used to celebrate the holiday until I stopped to reflect and I actually decided to think about what I was doing, and I came up with the 5 Reasons why Valentine’s Day is not for me. Starting with the weirdest thing:

#5. No real ORIGIN – The History of Valentine’s day says nothing about loving your significant other. Granted there are multiple stories and legends about where Valentine’s Day originated, so maybe i missed something, but even that was sketchy to me. Why are there so many stories and legends about this global holiday? Why does the history seem so dark and the holiday so filled with “love”? That was the beginning of the deal breakers, it just didn’t make logical sense.

The world may never know but, we spend too much cash that day! Which leads me to my next reason.

#4. Valentine’s day is #2 for wasting paper, right behind Christmas cards! WHAT A WASTEFUL DAY! We waste money on cards that are not personal enough to genuinely express the love we have for our significant other. If you still have every single card given to you should probably recycle the ones from 7 years ago…But seriously. Cards are sweet for a moment, but they are wastful. Send me an email at least I can save it and have it forever, as long as I remember my password.

LIST of other waste:

Box of SugarChocolate, last maybe a week

Cotton wrapped cotton or Teddy Bears – you can only collect so many, I tried it.

Balloons, deflate

Flowers on life support – If you love them let them grow.

But what do I know….

Reason number 3 could fall into the list of waste, it’s a waste of time and patience. Going out that night is a NIGHTMARE, reservations SUCK, Dinner is rushed and packed. You better off spending time at home together, instead of waiting in lines and driving through thick traffic. Dinner for 2 in a crowded restaurant is kind of counterproductive.

#2. The obligation to express your love publicly or materialistically. People a plastered up and down social media timelines with long drawn out comments addressing their relationship and their feelings. Some even feel neglected if they don’t get a special shout out on Insta. But I would prefer the expression to be face to face, or through intimate contact. I want to feel your energy I don’t want you to express your feelings because Valentines day has arrived, same with #WCW. I need to be your crush 366, 25/8.

Which brings me to my final and most important reason.

#1. My relationship is defined by love, support and our ability to work together, none of which is represented through Valentine’s Day and the expected celebration of the day. I believe my relationship is between two people and gifts, and chocolate doesn’t show me how much he loves me when compared to the intimacy, support during family emergencies, communication, and the peace, laughter and joy it brings just to be in his presence.

Dont get me wrong, I did celebrate Valentines Day… FOR YEARS. But it’s never to late to wake up and appreciate the simple things.

Help! I removed meat now what?

Vegan, vegetarian, pesca…. blah blah blah….Your diet is your diet! That is the first and most important ting to remember. You don’t have to identify with or fit into any specific category when it comes to your diet. Personalize it make it work for you!

I struggle, I have cheat days, and sometimes I’ll hold myself accountable or my body’s is like “Girl, you KNOW you shouldn’t have had that last night” and I’m sick from digesting something I could have passed on. Just make sure if you fall off your diet, you get back on immediately so 1 bad meal doesn’t turn into old habits.

I have a goal to be Natural Vegetarian. Here’s how I started:

I decided on Natural Vegetarian because eating natural non-GMO food with no artificial flavors or preservatives was important to me for various reasons. After researching and reading I learned we are not carnivores and meat wasn’t meant to be a part of our diet. So I started….immediately because what I put in my body all of a sudden became a very important piece of my life. This whole time I thought I NEEDED MEAT…..I don’t.

I slowly began removing meat from my every day diet. After reading some interesting/disturbing facts about how pork traveled through my body it made sense to begin with that. I began eating less and less pork by substituting pork ribs or hot dogs for beef. With time and patience, pork was easily dismissed and replaced. I tried it a few months after I had been replacing it and it was HORRIBLE… IT WASN’T GOOD TO ME AT ALL. My body was upset with me the next day for sure! That was the day I KNEW pork was never going to be apart of my diet. Small Victory!!

Then I began to phase out my beef and substitute turkey for beef. Then I was down to turkey and chicken, those we easily replaced by tofu and soy.

But then 1 year later after TOFU and SOY became questionable…so I got stuck, I eat veggies, fruit, lentils and I drink lots of water, but I’m Sure I’m lacking many IMPORTANT nutrients. How do you guys meal prep for the week, how can I tell what my body needs?

I’m resourceful so I’m asking other vegans, nutritionist, and vegetarians to help me & COMMENT ON THIS POST about meal prep options. I’ve been researching, but there is a lot of contradictory information on the subject, so in the mean time I’m going to eat my safe meals, and change my diet pattern to a 16/8 fast.

I’ll let you guys know how it goes!

Peace, love and light. Treat yourself and others right

New Christmas Celebration

2017 was finally the year! I made a plan and stuck to a week long celebration for Kwanzaa. Growing up we celebrated the “holidays” carried by the stores. You know, as soon as New Year’s is over the Valentines Day things begin to fill the stores with pink, red and white hearts and big fluffy stuffed animals, it puts people in the place to celebrate the next main holiday. For so long, I followed suit and celebrated what I was introduced to.

Since elementary, Kwanzaa was discussed, but never enough for it to make sense. I was learning about the most beautiful week of growth and development I would ever experience, but it was being pushed to the side because I felt like I would get more gifts for Christmas.

For one reason or another I began to think about celebrating the disregarded Holiday, initially making an effort to create my own holiday tradition. I really didn’t understand the meaning until I decided to celebrate and read the principles for understanding and application.

My personal 2017 theme was the Year of the Blind, honoring my understanding of previous conditions and making a valid effort to see problems and make changes in my own life. It was an invigorating experience. I felt connected, strong, capable and confident in my actions all week. I was able to reevaluate my goals and my actions and alter things that no longer agreed with my mission.  

When I emerged from the week, I realized it wasn’t just a week long celebration. The principles practiced during Kwanzaa are important to recall every day of the year. Learn About the Principles on “How to Start celebrating Kwanzaa” Post.

Overall, Kwanzaa is an African-Americans celebration of life from December 26 to January 1. Dr. Maulana Karenga introduced the festival in 1966 to the United States as a ritual to welcome the first harvests to the home. Dr. Karenga created this festival for Afro-Americans as a response to the commercialism of Christmas.

I welcome Kwanzaa and the Nguzo Saba (seven principles) into my life. Although this year was a solo mission, 2018 Friends and Family better be ready for a week of life changing, thought provoking experiences starting the day after Christmas!

Achievement list

This the the list that continues with you, after you kick the bucket. I’m not racing to the end this is the beginning! This list is everything I aspire to do, we all don’t begin as experts, so on this blog you will see my efforts, trial and tribulations and ultimately my success. It’s coming and I hope to inspire !
1. Learn the guitar
2. Eat a healthy plant based diet [as of December 2017]
3. Become a universal Artist
4. Found a charter school
5. Own a Tesla and stop polluting every time I put my foot on the gas
6. Build/Design my Home
7. Learn 4 different languages, sign language included
8. Have Financial Feedom
9. Travel
10. Remove Fear and negativity
11. Understand my history
12. Think for myself
13. Grow my hair naturally
14. Speak in front of thousands
15. Have a custom clothing line
16. Use solar energy
17. Help people

A liar who admits to it is….

She won’t put her best foot forward. She’s been draggin her feet in dreams for weeks.

Time is proudly watched, but unable to stay alive you in that 9 ta five.

Cleaning, smiling and waving,

taskin, laughing and singin, while the bosses bosses daddy is on his 15th vacay to Prague. When he just got back from Africa.

And you’re standing there, getting skills to pay the bills. Makes no difference, if you feed people sick ass meals or their medical pills, secure the jails or you’re simply selling them more bills, you justa normal everyday hitman serving clean cut kills. In broad daylight….

Now staggering, tired, and out of breath, dragging dreams began to slow her stride.

But she had to keep it up on IG. It was more than the Likes, it was visability. You have to admire the dedication. I can have my posts lined up, and I still will forget to copy and paste them. [seriously though]. Everday a play by play, but

No exploration.

This is when I began to question my motives. I was bored and decided I needed more than a paying occupation. I got into a deep conversation with myself, especially when I began analyzing my character. Have you ever wanted to call youself a liar? sneaky? Nobody would agree to that right? Fact is most people lie, and sneak. My family tried to teach me that it wasn’t for me at a young age, clearly I missed the point. I was bad at it, and I was getting in TROUBLE. Lying didnt work out for me, and Im grateful that I was able to learn that early. *Shout out to my family and the nearest object, at the very moment of kid disrespect.*

But I had to accept the fact, that fake call in sick is a lie and I’m still a liar. That’s just real shit. I didnt want to admit it TO MYSELF. But the reality is it happens. It’s been happening to me since the tooth fairy. Once I decided to cut that shit out. This blog happened. I also became aware of my character that day. I was able to pinpoint and remedy silly things and make big improvements in my attitide, personality and choices.

When your motives and character align with your goals, progress happens inevitably. Ideas begin to develop and transform into a tangible dream from last year.

So she sat there. Looked around at what her dreams had been through. They’ve been on hold and hushed away in a secured psych ward.

Patience wasted.

Now she wanted her dreams so bad she could taste it.

It had to be her strongest and most effective stride. So she smeard the concrete with her Louboutin.

She knew she couldn’t continue without step 1. She began her journey of Self Knowledge and whispered “it’s ok to start all over again.”

Before I could read at 2400WPM

Everyday, I wake up express gratitude and begin my day. Sometimes I have a bunch of things to do because of work, and other times I choose to work on myself. Working on myself gets frustrating, because I feel like big pieces are missing. Imagine trying to bake a cake with no recipe or missing ingredients….It wouldn’t be the success you were hoping for, would it?

With no direction my starting point was to read. Read history, look up where my traditions came from and personally im over reading misinformation and irrelavent articles in an attempt to learn who I am.

Especially, because I was reading crazy slow at 150WPM in order to have 100% comprehension, and was taking me forever!

I needed to be able to read faster, so I could read more and learn the information…I picked up a book from the library to assist and 2 days later I was reading at 300WPM! I couldn’t believe it was actually working!

Just like with everything else, as I practiced I continued to improve. Still improving today I will eventually begin reading at 2500WPM or higher!!!!! Check Out my Instagram @__payA10tion for more! information on the book and the FEBRUARY 2018 giveaway!

Also be on the lookout for a Book Giveaway!! February 2018 Click HERE for sweepstake rules

3 easy steps to be better than yesterday.

Be sure you understand the intended results or goals. You must decide on an overall goal, mine was to be better than yesterday.

Better mentally, physically and speak honestly. For a while I was feeling hidden. I didn’t speak much due to my desire to observe others and the fear of people and their ability to miss an entire conversation with open ears.

I felt hidden because I wasn’t always myself. Sometimes I stood still, when I wanted to dance or I wouldn’t speak when I had so much to say. Most times it was out of fear. Fear that I would look silly dancing or say something that didn’t make sense. I finally let it be what it was , that’s when I began breaking traditions and doing my own thing.

After deciding to make changes in my life I began to read. Every book I read at that point in my life said the remedy to all my problems would be to:

1. Change YOUR mindset

IMG_0935I didnt understand how difficult things were about to get, until I realized I was telling everyone else to change their mindset, while mine remained idle. I knew what I wanted to do, but I needed directions. I didnt know what steps to take first In order to change your mindset you have to begin somewhere. So I wrote down everything I wanted and moved to step.

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